


I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet

by TheAddict4Dramatics



Series: This Woman's Work [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: A ridiculous amount of smiling and kissing, AU, Angst, Era, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mostly smiling and kissing, Post-Break Up, Reunion Sex, Smut is kind of meh, The X-Files Revival, Will is still around, eventually, hopefully the feelings are not, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24446563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAddict4Dramatics/pseuds/TheAddict4Dramatics
Summary: “He misses you.” That made her look up. She hadn’t been expecting him to say that. “I mean he doesn’t always say it but I can tell he does. Do you… do you miss him?” Will asked tentatively. She never wanted him to feel as if he couldn’t speak about his father in front of her. She never wanted to be that kind of parent that couldn’t bear to hear their ex mentioned. And so she tried her best to sound calm as she answered:“Of course I do.” She saw the hope fill his eyes and suddenly realised what this conversation was really about. She felt a sense of oncoming dread sink deep into her stomach.It's revival era reunion fic with bonus William added in. Has it been done before and in much better ways - yes. Will it stop me writing it - no. Scully is in for a ride of a weekend!
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Series: This Woman's Work [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971484
Comments: 13
Kudos: 158





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As the title suggests I listened to This Woman's Work by Kate Bush a lot while writing this story. It's a banger!

_Friday evening_

Scully placed the plate down in front of William who was sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. She sat down next to him, her own plate of food in front of her.

“Thanks.” Will muttered. He stared down at the plate but made no move to start eating. That was unusual. He was a fifteen year old boy and to say that he usually inhaled his food would be a polite way to describe it. He’d been acting strange since she’d got in from work.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Scully asked as she picked up her own knife and fork and began eating. She was concerned about her son but she’d also just finished a twelve hour shift at the hospital and was starving and exhausted and not feeling very patient.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you look guilty as hell. Has something happened?”

“No.” Will answered quickly. Far too quickly to be convincing. “It’s just…I was thinking…” Scully tried not to smile. He was so like Mulder sometimes, he could never commit to keeping his thoughts to himself for long. “I might go fishing with Dad this weekend.” He looked up at her briefly to gauge her reaction but he carried on quickly before she could interject. “I know it’s our weekend but we’ve been talking about going to Butler’s Creek for ages and the weather will be perfect for it this weekend. Next weekend doesn’t look so good…”

“That sounds lovely.” Scully said genuinely.

“You don’t mind?”

“No, of course not. We can switch weekends and you and I can do something fun next weekend.” She hated this was a discussion she had to have. How they had become that family of clichéd separated parents sharing out time with their son, both scared of accidentally ‘stealing’ time from the other and thus giving them ammunition to use. And now Will felt guilty for wanting to spend time with his own father. How had they come to this?

“Are you sure? Dad said we’ll only go if you’re sure you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.” She stated firmly. “Go and have fun.” Will smiled and nodded and then at last started eating his food. “Is Dad picking you up?” Scully asked, after a few minutes of quiet chewing.

“Yeah. He’s picking me up early tomorrow and then he can drop me off at school on Monday.” Early for fishing meant _early_ , early. Good luck to Mulder having to deal with a grumpy, sleep-deprived teenager at four am.

“He’s doing good you know?” Will said suddenly. “Like really good. He’s been getting better for ages but these last few weeks it’s like… he’s him again.” She thought briefly about the last few times she’d seen him when he’d been picking up or dropping off Will. He had looked good. Better than she’d seen him look in ages.

“Good. I’m glad he’s good.”

“He misses you.” That made her look up. She hadn’t been expecting him to say that. “I mean he doesn’t always say it but I can tell he does. Do you… do you miss him?” Will asked tentatively. She never wanted him to feel as if he couldn’t speak about his father in front of her. She never wanted to be that kind of parent that couldn’t bear to hear their ex mentioned. And so she tried her best to sound calm as she answered:

“Of course I do.” She saw the hope fill his eyes and suddenly realised what this conversation was really about. She felt a sense of oncoming dread sink deep into her stomach. “But Will that doesn’t mean…”

“Why doesn’t it?” He interrupted her. Scully struggled for a moment to think of what to say and then Will continued before she had the chance. “I understand why we had to leave in the first place, really I do. I get it – we left so he could be better. But he is better now so why can’t we go back and it can be like it was before.”

“There’s so much…” She paused, still unsure of what to say. “There are a lot of different conversations that have to happen before we can even think about doing that.”

“Then start having them!” Will demanded in a raised voice.

Scully was taken aback. He rarely raised his voice. As teenagers go he was definitely more of a sulker than a shouter. Mulder used to tease her about how like her he was in that way. He’d say that if he gave him a corpse and a pair of latex gloves he’d be snapping them on and muttering _sure, fine, whatever_ in no time. Scully put down her fork and leaned across to hold Will’s wrist.

“Will, whether your father and I are together or not it doesn’t change how much we both love you…”

“Don’t do that!” He exclaimed as he shook himself free of her hold. “Don’t make it about me. It’s not about how much you love me, it’s about how much you love each other and refuse to do anything about it!” Thank god he wasn’t around in the nineties if he thought this was bad, Scully thought wryly. The thought left her head quickly when she saw how upset he was. She went to grasp his hand again but he remained resolutely out of her reach. “Do you still love him?!” He demanded of her.

“Yes. Yes, of course I do.” This time she had no claim that are her words sounded calm. There were unfallen tears in her eyes and her voice shook. The idea that Will would think she didn’t…

“Well you might want to tell him that. Because I don’t think he knows it.” Will’s tone of voice had changed. He wasn’t saying these things to hurt her, he was saying them because he believed them to be true. “I don’t think he believes you’re coming back anymore. He thinks you’re happier like this, that you’ve moved on and he’s trying to deal with it.” That feeling in her stomach dropped even lower. She felt as if she might pass out.

“Maybe he’s right.” Scully said slowly and very quietly as if she didn’t want to hear herself say the words. “Maybe I am happier like this and I have moved on.”

“No you haven’t.” And again he was so like Mulder – so very certain of things he could not know for sure. “You’ve been on one date in what? Two years.”

“The number of dates I go on doesn’t determine whether I’ve moved on or not.” But Will ploughed on as if she hadn’t spoken at all. Another pure Mulder trait.

“…and that one was a disaster. You were upset for a week afterwards.”

She didn’t say anything. There was not much to say, he wasn’t wrong. The date itself had been far from a disaster. The guy worked at the hospital and she had been genuinely flattered when he’d asked her – he was a little younger than her, quite handsome and intelligent. On the date she’d learnt that it was the kind of intelligence that made someone interesting, not arrogant and that he was warm and funny too. They’d gone back to his place afterwards because she’d wanted to and because she was desperate to prove to herself that she could do it. She could date.

He’d poured her a glass of wine, sat on the couch next to her and kissed her. It wasn’t that he had been misreading the signals, he hadn’t. But the moment his lips touched hers she knew it was a mistake. A big, _ugly_ mistake. She was out of the door in under a minute; her jacket hung off of one shoulder, her shoes still undone and a very confused man in her wake.

Scully had sat crying in her car for the best part of an hour before she began to drive. She was halfway to the house before she realised where she was going. Their house, the one in which she’d taken their son and moved out of almost two years previously. She’d sat at the end of the gravel road willing herself the courage to go and knock on the door. But it hadn’t come and she’d ended up driving back without even leaving the car. That had been two months ago and she hadn’t really felt like herself since.

“I’m sorry.” Will said at last, after they had sat in uncomfortable silence for several moments. “That was a horrible thing to say.” He had that kicked puppy dog look that Mulder had perfected early in their partnership. She found it had the same effect as it always had.

“No. It was an honest thing to say.” This time Will let her take his hand from across the table. He squeezed it in reassurance and apology, just as Mulder would have done. She wanted to cry.

“I’m just scared.” Will confessed quietly. “If he thinks you’re not coming back and he carries on getting better, you know working out and getting out more… well… it’s just he’s not bad looking – for his age and he’s quite charming when he wants to be and women like that.” Scully gave a small smile to that apt description. She wanted to ask how much her son knew of what women liked and how he knew it. She resisted. “Sooner or later he’s going to meet someone and he’s going to go for it because he’ll think that there’s nothing to lose. And yeah selfishly I don’t want that to happen. But I don’t think you want that to happen either.”

That feeling in her stomach was dropping again. Dropping and expanding and filling all of the available space within her. She didn’t say anything. She couldn’t deny it without lying to her son and she didn’t want to do that. After a moment Will dropped her hand and picked up his fork. His last statement hung in the air around them as they began eating again.

_Saturday evening_

She stood as she saw Skinner making his way through the crowded restaurant. They embraced as he reached her and then took their seats across from one and another.

“Sorry I’m late, traffic across town was interesting.” Skinner explained.

“Don’t worry, I’ve only just got here. Arlene not with you?” Skinner’s former secretary had finally become his partner in the strictly non-professional sense of the word. They had taken even longer than she and Mulder had to cross that line. Scully liked Arlene; she was smart and capable and made Skinner happier that she had ever seen him. Mulder had always teased her that their former boss had a thing for her and now he had ended up with a woman even Scully could see bore more than a slight resemblance to herself.

“No, her sister’s in town. They’ve gone to the theatre.”

“I’m sorry – if you already had plans you should have said.” Their dinner had been a last minute arrangement. Scully had rung earlier that morning after Will had left with Mulder. It was only after she was faced with a whole weekend in front her without work or her son that she realised just how few friends she had. Ellen was out of town and every time she had seen the Gunmen since the separation it had felt oddly like a betrayal to Mulder. She guessed they felt the same way as they tended to be more awkward with her than ever. That had left Skinner, a much more neutral friend. And he had certainly become that since they’d left the bureau.

“No, no, I was _thrilled_ to get your call.” Scully smiled. She couldn’t really see him as the theatre type though no doubt he would have gone if she hadn’t called. It would have made Arlene happy and he seemed to be very good at that.

“How is everything? How’s work?.. Thank you.” Scully asked as the waiter passed them their menus and filled their water glasses.

“Things are good. Work is… pretty much the same as always. I think I’m getting too old for it though.” Her eyes widened. The FBI without A.D. Skinner seemed impossible to her. If ever there was a man that was the job. Mulder was never the job, he was the obsession, and the job gave him access to further it. But Skinner, Skinner was the job. Still if anything could change that it was the love of the right woman.

“I’m sure you’re not.” Scully replied and the two shared a smile.

“How about you? How’s the hospital?”

“Yeah good. Busy, but good.”

“And Will?”

“He’s good.” She thought briefly back to the conversation they had had the night before and how decidedly not-good that had been. But generally her statement was true. “He’s fishing this weekend with Mulder. They’ve gone to Butler’s Creek.”

“It’s perfect weather for it.”

“So I understand.”

“I never had Mulder pegged for a fishing guy? You sure it’s not some ruse to go Sasquatching or something?” Skinner said with more than a little affection in his voice. Scully smiled at the thought of how happy it would have made Mulder to hear Skinner use the term sasquatching correctly in a sentence. And then she suddenly felt emotional, as she always seemed to do when she thought about Mulder these days.

“I’m impressed.” She praised, trying her best cover the wobble in her voice. “But no, I think they’ve actually gone fishing. They’ve been a few times recently – it seems to be their new hobby.” The waiter came over to take their orders.

“It’s good.” Skinner said as he handed his menu back to the waiter. “For Mulder I mean – to have a new, un-obsessive hobby.” Scully nodded as she took a mouthful of water. “He seems to be doing better recently.”

“You’ve seen him recently?”

“Yeah, a couple of weeks ago. He called me up and we went for a beer.” Scully nodded again. Reaching out to his friends was definitely a good sign for Mulder. The worse he was doing the more insular he became. Will was obviously right that he was going out more which was good too, he’d spent too long locked up in that house. Her mind wandered to what Will had said about Mulder meeting someone.

“What did you talk about?” She asked before she could stop herself. She saw the surprise register of Skinner’s face and the accompanying discomfort. Her cheeks coloured instantly. “I’m sorry, that was totally inappropriate. Please forget I asked that.” She reached for her water again just for something to do. She suddenly wanted to be anywhere but there and she wondered why she had called him in the first place.

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Skinner reassured her. “We just talked about general stuff really. You know, work and Arlene and what he’s been doing with Will and around the house.” She obviously looked slightly confused by that and he clarified: “He’s been fixing up a few bits. I wouldn’t exactly call it renovating but he’s been smartening it up a bit.”

“Oh.” Was all she said.

She wouldn’t know, she hadn’t been near the house in almost two years. When she dropped Will off there she always parked at the end of the dirt track and Will walked the rest of the way. It was not that she didn’t want to see Mulder; she saw him plenty when he dropped off Will at hers and they still attended Will’s parents’ evenings and other school things together. But for some reason she could not bring herself to see the house. The house where they’d raised their son, where they’d lived and been so happy for so many years. Sitting in the middle of this restaurant she had a sudden and surprising yearning to see the house again. She wanted to see what improvements he’d made. There had been plenty to do, even before she had left, but she had always been busy with work and Mulder had been less and less inclined to do anything.

“Are you okay?” Skinner asked kindly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just… I’m fine.” He didn’t believe her, that much was clear but he did not challenge her and then they were interrupted by the waiter brining over their drinks. “Did you talk about his therapy?” Scully asked when they were alone again. She had no idea why she was asking these questions, only that she couldn’t stop.

“Erm no, not really.” She could tell she was making Skinner really quite uncomfortable now. He clearly did not want to betray a confidence but he was also her friend and he wanted to reassure her. She was aware that she was a bad friend for even putting him in this situation. She felt slightly ashamed. “But it’s clearly helping him. A lot actually. And that can only be a good thing, right?”

“Yeah, of course, yeah.” Scully agreed quickly.

“Maybe you should talk to him.” She looked up from the table. “I mean he mentioned that you haven’t spoken much, not recently anyway. Maybe you should call him sometime and talk. I think he’d like that.”

It was true they hadn’t spoken much in the last few months, at least not about anything that strayed too far from the subject of their son. In the first few months of their separation nearly all of their communication had come in the form of drunk and accusatory phone calls on his end and worried texts and voicemails on hers. Her leaving him had not worked like she’d hoped it would, not at first. Somehow, although it hadn’t seemed possible at the time, it had only made him worse and then there had been no one there to make sure his basic needs were at least partially met. She had lived in constant worry that the next phone call she received would be from the hospital or the mortuary.

His phone calls and her worry had both receded gradually over time as he had started to get the help he needed. Now their communication, although limited, was always healthy, pleasant even. But it was also distant, as if they both had so much they wanted to say but neither could bring themselves to say it.

She missed him. Right down to her bones. She missed him.

“I’m not sure I’d know what to say.” She answered Skinner, her voice quiet and hoarse.

“I’m not sure that matters.” 


	2. Chapter 2

_Sunday morning_

Scully had decided to surprise her mother at early mass and had ended up going back to hers for brunch. She wasn’t sure why she had gone. Only that once again she was faced with no plans for the whole day ahead and with her current mood she knew that wasn’t a good thing. Perhaps she had gone because of how lost she was feeling lately – she always seemed to end up in church when she did. She was a foul-weather Catholic. The worst kind.

Though probably she had come because she just needed to see her mum.

“Not that I’m complaining because it really is a lovely surprise…” Her mother began whilst they stood in the kitchen preparing the food. _Here we go_. Scully thought. “But weren’t you supposed to be with Will this weekend?”

“I was but he went fishing with Mulder instead. He’s going to be at mine next weekend.” Scully said without feeling as she moved their full plates to the table. Her mother sat down across from her.

“That’s nice.” Her mother commented as they started to eat. “You know I saw Fox last week.” Scully clutched the cutlery in her hands a little tighter. She really didn’t want to have this conversation again and so she said nothing. “I went over to the house to drop off some things.” Still Scully said nothing but she kinked an eyebrow in curiosity. “Well, some food.” Her mother admitted sheepishly.

So she’d been cooking for him. Scully couldn’t say she was surprised. Her mother was one of those women who were born to mother – Scully had no doubt she would mother the entire world if she could. And Mulder, having been so starved of it for his entire life, screamed out for maternal love and care.

“You know how he is about eating properly at the best of times.” And these certainly weren’t the best of times, Scully thought bitterly. “Anyway, I really needn’t have bothered – the fridge was full and the house… well, I’ve not seen it look so clean and tidy since –” She stopped abruptly. Scully could finish the sentence for her easily enough: since you left your dangerously depressed husband to fend for himself. “Well, in a long time.” Maggie finished instead. And still Scully said nothing. “He really seems to have turned a corner recently. He’s doing so well.” Maggie was looking expectantly at her but remained disappointed. “Have I said something wrong?” She asked at last, her tone much sharper than before.

“No.” Scully dropped her cutlery onto her plate preparing for the argument she could feel coming. “It’s just this is the third time I’ve had this conversation in as many days.”

“And that doesn’t tell you anything?” And there was the undercurrent of accusation that Scully had been anticipating ever since the subject of Mulder had come up.

“What should that tell me exactly?”

“If you don’t know that Dana I really have nothing to say.”

“Well that would certainly be a first!” Scully saw her mother’s eyes widen in surprise. Her level of aggression was uncalled for, even as the words were coming out of her mouth she knew just how unfair they were but it didn’t stop her: “Why don’t I say it for you? That I failed. That I quit. That I gave up and abandoned my husband when he needed me the most! That it was a miracle that nothing more tragic happened but if it had it would have been entirely my fault!”

Her voice had risen considerably by the end and there were tears in her eyes that she was stubbornly holding onto, refusing to let them fall. She saw her mother fighting with various different emotions before she took a big breath and said:

“I wasn’t going to say any of those things Dana because I don’t believe they’re true.” Her voice was the complete opposite of what Scully’s had just been; as calm as Scully’s was manic and as gentle as Scully’s was harsh. “I think you believe they’re true but it’s unfair of you to project those feelings onto me.”

It was her mother’s softness that broke her. She deflated and started to cry in earnest, big, wailing cries until she was sobbing without control. Her mother rose out of her chair with an effortless grace, rounded the table and pulled her into her embrace.

“I know. I’m sorry Mum, I’m sorry.” She cried into her mother’s shoulder. Maggie only held her all the tighter, rocking her slightly as if she were still a small child. “I’m so scared.” She confessed shakily into the comfort of her mother’s arms.

“Oh sweetheart, of what?” Scully cried for a little while longer before finding the strength to pull away and look into her mother’s face.

“What if it’s me? He’s doing so much better without me, what it was me that was making him sick?” Her words came out in a rush, tripping over themselves in a race to be heard. This deep-rooted, secretive fear that she had held onto for so long. Her mother’s eyes seemed to crinkle in sympathy and understanding but it only made her cry more. “I think he’d be better off without me but I’m not sure I can give him up!”

Maggie shook her head though she did not speak. She gently led Scully to the couch in the other room and sat her down, returning after a moment with a glass of water and sitting down beside her. She passed Scully the water and reached over and took her other hand in her own.

“I want you to listen to me Dana.” She said, her words firm but not severe. It made Scully turn to look at her. “That is not true. None of the things you believe are true; you did not fail and you did not abandon him. You did what you did to save him, to save all of you and it _worked_. He needed to be on his own to get better and he needed to do it for himself, not just for you and Will. He’s done it and you should be so proud of him.”

“I am proud of him.” Scully stated fiercely. She was. Above everything else she was so, _stunningly_ proud of him for the progress he’d made. Her mother smiled at her response. “What if he can’t forgive me?” She might as well confess to all of her darkest fears whilst she was at it.

“What is there to forgive? You need to speak with him and you’ll see that he’s not angry with you and he doesn’t blame you for anything. Maybe he did in the beginning but that was the depression talking. He can see things clearly now.”

“How do you know?” Scully hated how small her voice sounded, but her mother only smiled again. It was that irritating, knowing smile that all mothers seem to possess no matter how old their children were. It was a smile that said because I’m your mother, that’s how I know. But she wasn’t sure her mother’s certainty was enough to convince her. There was an ache deep, deep inside of her that seemed to be coming from the very centre of her soul. She didn’t know what it meant.

“You were brave when you left him Dana. It’s time to be brave again.”

_Sunday evening_

It’s time to be brave again. Scully repeated her mother’s words in her head hoping it would give her the courage she felt she was lacking. She raised her hand and knocked on the door. It was late but when she had pulled up the lights had still been on downstairs. She hadn’t thought much about what would happen beyond this moment, of what she would actually say when he opened the door. She’d been too focused on just getting out of the damn car. She looked down nervously, studying her shoes for inspiration when she noticed that the decking on which she was standing was different. He’d re-decked the porch. He certainly had been renovating.

After a couple of moments she heard movement behind the door and then at once the door opened and Mulder was standing in front of her. He looked surprised but he offered her a smile nonetheless.

“Hey. What are you doing here? Is everything okay?” She suddenly realised that it was almost midnight and she hadn’t turned up on his doorstep in almost two years. Of course he thought something had happened.

“Yeah, sorry, I know it’s really late. Everything’s fine though.” She rambled through her explanation. He seemed to relax at that, he smiled again and then stood back from the door as a clear invitation for her to step inside.

“Don’t worry it’s fine, I’m glad everything’s okay. Come in.”

As soon as she entered the house she was immediately set upon by a very excited dog. Daggoo. She remembered his name was. Mulder had got him from the rescue shelter a few months ago and for days Will had spoken about little else and how much he wished they were allowed pets in their apartment building. Scully had never met the dog before but he was acting as if she were his best friend; jumping up to receive strokes and then falling onto his back to invite belly rubs. She crouched down to oblige him.

“Daggoo meet Scully, Scully – Daggoo.” Mulder said conversationally, amusement painted over his features. She looked up at Mulder. She couldn’t believe just how well he looked. How much like himself he looked. She looked away hastily when she realised she had been caught gazing at him. “As you can see he’s the world’s worst guard dog.” He laughed at his own comment. He sounded happy.

“It’s a good name.” She was thinking about another little dog that had shared a similar namesake a long time ago. So long ago it felt as if it were another lifetime.

“I know. Can you believe it actually came with the dog?! I sorta figured it was a sign.” He explained. She carried on petting the dog who was rather adorable she had to admit.After a few moments Mulder suddenly asked: “Will went up to bed a while ago but I can go and get him if you want?”

“Not, that’s okay.” She didn’t elaborate any further, she was not sure she could have got out the words to explain it was not Will she had come to see. She could sense his confusion without looking at him and she couldn’t blame him; he had no idea what she was thinking. Hell, she didn’t even know what she was thinking.

“Okay, well, if you can manage to get the dog off of you take a seat. Can I get you a drink?”

“Yes, please.” She answered quickly as she moved onto the couch. Daggoo followed her over but he didn’t jump onto the seat beside her. He didn’t climb onto the furniture at all so he was at least partially trained. He’d trained his pound dog. For some reason the thought made her want to cry.

“What would you like? I’ve got pretty much everything so take your pick.”

“Have you got any bourbon?” Scully asked before she could think about what she was saying. Alcohol was probably not a good idea right now. Least of all because she drove there and needed to drive back. But it would certainly make her feel more at ease and it would make her bolder too.

“Err… yeah… I think so, somewhere.” He turned toward the kitchen and then turned back round again. “But you’re sure you’re okay?” She found she couldn’t meet his penetrating stare so she nodded and tried to smile instead. It was tight-lipped at best. He nodded back at her, clearly unconvinced of her response. He started to root around in the back of a cupboard, his back to her and she found it was easier to speak when he wasn’t looking directly at her. 

“This place looks really good.” She looked around at the clean and tidy living area. It was unrecognisable to the state it had been in when she’d left.

“Well it took me long enough to sort it out.” He replied from deep inside a low cupboard.

“And you’ve re-decked the porch.”

“Yeah. I put my foot straight thought it last month. I figured it was time.” He was smiling as he emerged from under the cupboard, clutching his prize in his hand. “I knew I had it somewhere!” He exclaimed triumphantly. She smiled at him, for real this time. “I can’t guarantee how old it is though.” Mulder carried on talking as he took a glass from the draining board and poured a generous measure. He didn’t pour himself a glass which made her feel somewhat stupid for asking for it. “I think it may date back to a Gunman’s New Year’s Eve party… perhaps not of this century!” He joked, handing her the glass. His mood was so jovial and light-hearted she didn’t know how to respond to it. It was a side of him she hadn’t seen in such a long time.

He took a seat in the armchair across from her, not on the vacant spot beside her. That stung her though it had no real reason to – he was probably just trying to respect the boundaries she wasn’t sure she had anymore.

“Is it strange, being back here?” Mulder asked when he had obviously decided she wasn’t going to start talking any time soon.

She could not detect any trace of accusation in his words, only genuine curiosity. The fact that he could ask her so casually spoke masses to his recovery. For so long he had only spoken about their separation through snide digs or by ignoring it all together, as if she had never lived there with him. He clearly wasn’t denying it anymore; looking around she could see at once about half a dozen things that were hers. Items she hadn’t had the space or energy to pack and take with her. There was a blanket of hers over the back of the sofa, an ornament on the fireplace, various pictures on the walls. Not just pictures of Will but pictures of her too. Pictures of them.

“It is a little strange.” She admitted after a long silence. “But not in a bad way.”

“Well you know you’re welcome here anytime.” Mulder told her sincerely. As if that had always been their arrangement. 

That was what did it in the end – his calm and unexpected reacceptance of her back into his space, back into his life. She started to cry, instantly mortified to be breaking down so completely in front of him but unable to stop. She wouldn’t have thought she’d have had any tears left after all of the ones she had shed at her mother’s. She was wrong. Mulder moved in front of her at once and took the glass from her shaking hand, placing it, totally untouched, on the table beside her. He was kneeling in front of her as he reached out and gently ran his hand up and down her leg, trying to comfort her. It made her cry harder. It was the closest they had been to each other in two years but his touch was so unsure as if he felt he shouldn’t be doing it. 

“Scully… please tell me what’s happened. Talk to me.” He implored though not unkindly. She took a few shuddering breaths.

“Can you… can you hold me?”

“Yeah.” Relived. That was how he sounded. Relived that he was allowed to touch her. He sat on the couch next to her and turned her body towards him, bringing her head against his chest and wrapping his arms around her. His nose and lips fell against her hair and she felt him breathe in her scent and let out a shaky sigh. “It’s okay.” He reassured her. “It’s all okay.” It took several minutes of continued hugging and murmured reassurances but eventually her tears began to slow. She made no attempt to move out of his embrace.

“Sorry.” She whispered wetly against his t-shirt.

“No, don’t say sorry.”

“Everyone keeps telling me how much better you’re doing, how good you seem.” Scully said as if that somehow explained her breakdown.

“Hmm…I bet that was irritating.” Mulder teased, laughing slightly against the top of her head. She gave a little laugh too. “Who’s everyone?”

“Will… Skinner… my Mom…”

“Ah, the holy trinity right there.” She laughed again.

“They’re right though, you do seem good, really good.”

“Yeah.” Mulder agreed lightly. “I feel it. I feel…” He paused for a moment, clearly trying to think of the right way to word his thoughts. “Better. I feel better than I have done in a long time. Maybe ever.”

“I’m glad.” Scully replied honestly. He held her a little tighter.

He didn’t ask her what that was all about her – her sudden arrival, the hysterics and she was grateful to him for it. He seemed content just to sit there and hold her and that suited her just fine. They stayed like that for a long time, she didn’t know how long exactly but by the time he spoke again she had almost completely nodded off. 

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” He whispered softly as not to startle her. “You can take the bed and I’ll crash on the couch. Or I can drive you back to the apartment if you prefer. Just tell me what you want to do.” What she really wanted to do was to not move a muscle. But they couldn’t stay on this couch all night.

“I think I’m scared to tell you what I want.” She confessed. She rose her head to look at him and could see him frowning. He then ran a gentle thumb over her chin and up across her cheeks to wipe away any lingering tears.

“You don’t have to be scared of that.” Mulder promised.

She looked back at his face, her gaze lingering on his lips. She thought about how much she wanted him to kiss her. And suddenly she recognised the feeling from earlier, the one that had come straight from the depths of her but she hadn’t known what it had meant. She knew now. It was a yearning – the same sudden yearning she had had to see the house only now it had transformed into a yearning for something else. And it was stronger. Much, much stronger. Scully took a big breath. It was time to be brave again.

“I want you to kiss me. And then I want to go upstairs and fall asleep in our bed, with you.” She told him, sounding much braver than she felt. He nodded slowly and she could see him trying to process the information.

“We can do that.” He said at last and leaned into her. She stopped him with a hand on his chest.

“Only if you want to.”

“Why in the hell would I not want to do that?”

He shook his head at her as if she were utterly ridiculous and kissed her. The kiss was gentle and slightly unsure, a lot like their first kiss on New Year’s Eve all those years ago. Only she wasn’t so in control of herself as she had been then and when his lips touched hers she whimpered and chased him as he withdrew. He smiled at her – a big, beaming smile and let her close the gap between them and kiss him again.

“Hello you.” Mulder whispered against her. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” He kissed her one last time and then stood. He turned back and held out his hand to her and she took it gladly. 


	3. Chapter 3

_Monday morning_

Scully came too slowly, blinking against the light that was bleeding through the curtains. It took a moment to remember exactly where she was and when she did she could not help the smile that emerged on her face. She turned her head and saw Mulder lying next to her propped up on his side, head in his hand and his eyes open.

“You’re not sleeping.” She mumbled, still more asleep than awake.

“No. I’m too busy watching you.” His voice, in contrast to hers, didn’t sound as if he’d just woken up. He leant over and brushed some of the hair out of her face. It was something that he had done countless times before. It was a worn-in kind of intimacy but it made her limbs feel like jelly.

“Hmm… what time is it?” Scully asked.

“Early. Not quite time to get up yet. Go back to sleep.” She turned herself more towards him and then burrowed her head into his chest. She felt his hand come up to cradle the back of her head. They were quiet for a few moments and she was just about to doze off again when a thought suddenly hit her.

“I should probably get up and go before Will wakes up. I don’t want to…” She wasn’t sure what she didn’t want to do but if Will found her here it would be awkward for all of them. “…confuse him.” Scully finished.

It felt as if Will already had his bags packed to move back in permanently and if he found out she had spent the night it would be a much more difficult job to convince him to slow down. Mulder didn’t reply straight away and for a moment she was worried she’d said something to upset him.

“That’s probably sensible.” His tone was unreadable. And so although she really didn’t want to move from her current position she shuffled back a little to look at him. To her relief he was smiling at her.

“But I also really don’t want to move.” She told him honestly and his smile became broader.

Scully snuggled back down into the mattress and turned to lay mostly on her front so she could bury her face in the pillow. She inhaled. He still used the same washing detergent and it still smelt like their bed. She hadn’t be able to bring herself to use the same detergent for her own clothes and bedding at the apartment – so it had been a long time since she’d smelt it. It was heaven.

“I forgot how comfy this bed is.” Scully mumbled dreamily into the pillow. Mulder leant down and pressed a light kiss to her covered shoulder. She was wearing an old Oxford t-shirt of his that carried that same smell and was soft with the years of wear. She could feel her nipples starting to tighten against the fabric. They’d done a lot of things in this bed over the years and she was suddenly remembering them all like a pornographic slideshow in her mind’s eye. 

“Is the bed at the apartment not comfy?”

“It’s fine but it’s not the same.”

She turned her head to look at him and watched him for a while. It was comfortable. The whole thing was just so comfortable. She couldn’t believe it. She stretched up to kiss him. Was it strange to miss someone’s morning breath? Because she did. It was gross but it was true. Scully leant further into him to get closer to it. She felt him smile against her attentions and wrap his arms around her to support her weight. Their kisses were still gentle and unrushed but deeper than the few they had shared the night before. Each kiss built their confidence a little until they were both delving into each other’s mouths as if deep-sea-diving for treasure. The mood wasn’t heavy, it was light; like they were teenagers necking behind the bicycle shed at recess. Some of the kisses failed completely because one of them would be smiling too much to make a success of it.

After several moments Scully twisted her body so she could hook a leg over his hip and draw his lower body closer to hers. She could feel him through his boxers, the slight stirring their kisses had created. He was a man in his fifties, it would take more than a little tongue to make him fully ready though by the feel of it not much more. She started to rub herself against him. His hand shot out and gripped her bare thigh, stilling her movements.

“I think maybe… we should take things slow, you know?” He asked, breathless from all the kissing.

“Okay.” She agreed. He was right it would be stupid to rush into things. They were making such good progress but they had a long way to go.

“Yeah.” He said, as if he were also agreeing with himself.

He nodded, clearly having a conversation in his head – perhaps it was an argument. If it was the better half of himself had lost and the next moment he was kissing her again, much less calmly than before. He rolled her onto her back and climbed over her. She spread her legs to better accommodate him and he groaned into her mouth. He began kissing his way down her neck and over the top of the shirt, evidently frustrated he could not get to more skin. His fingers were already edging the garment up when he asked:

“Can I?”

“Yeah.” Scully answered without hesitation.

Mulder slipped the shirt over her head and tossed it blindly behind him. For a moment all he did was look at her. Look and look as if he had never seen her before. And then his eyes came to linger on her breasts, her ever darkening nipples and his mouth watered. It visibly watered. _Fuck_. Scully thought. She was done for. She felt herself pooling in her underwear. Then he was on her – kissing, licking, nipping every part of her he could reach. She squealed in laughter as his pre shave stubble tickled her sensitive skin. The laughter turned into a rasping moan as he latched onto one of her nipples.

“Mulderrrrr…” She panted, her hand twisting in his hair. “You too.” He came up for air looking slightly confused. “Take your shirt off.” She wanted to see him. She didn’t want to ever stop looking at him. He did as he was instructed and it was her turn to stare. His body was not totally unrecognisable to the one she remembered. It was mostly the same just a little trimmer and the muscles a little more defined. But it looked alive. It looked healthy and cared for and glowing. All of the things it had stopped looking before. She knew if she made it to the end of this without crying it would be a miracle. She reached out and ran her hand down his stomach muscles, watching them twitch and the skin goose-pimple in her wake. “Look at you.” She whispered, awe evident in her voice.

“Look at you.” Mulder countered with just as much feeling.

They started kissing again, rediscovering and exploring the familiarity of each other’s bodies until Scully reached down and slipped off her underwear. Mulder followed suit and then flipped them over and sat up without warning so she was positioned in his lap. His now completely ready-to-go manhood was pressed up against her, sliding up and down over the outside of her folds as she wriggled in his lap. She moaned against the feeling of the friction and pressed down trying to seek out more of him. However, he would not be rushed. He had his head buried between her breasts, placing slopping kisses along her sternum and collarbones. Their slow rocking was driving her crazy.

“I don’t have any condoms.” He said suddenly. “Are you still on the pill?” How the hell was he able to think of such practicalities right now? She wasn’t even sure she could remember her own name. “Scully?” He prompted when she didn’t answer. Ah yes – that was her name.

“Erm no. But I don’t think we need to worry. It’s just if you’ve…” She stopped talking at once. They only needed a condom if he had slept with anyone else since they’d separated and she really didn’t want to find out that piece of information sat naked in his lap. Mulder kissed her collarbone again but she couldn’t tell if it was a kiss telling her not to worry or a kiss to signify he was about to tell her something she didn’t want to hear.

“Well there’s no chance of that my end.” He said casually and before she could stop herself she let out a sigh of relief. He looked up at her with furrowed brows as if to challenge how she could have ever thought the answer would be any different.

“Me either.” His eyes filled with something similar to what she was feeling. Some kind of guilty relief.

“Will said you’ve been dating.” Again there was no accusation in his voice, simply a statement of fact. Will, it seemed, had inherited his grandmother’s knack for meddling.

“Date. Singular. And it didn’t get anywhere near that.” Scully explained. It wasn’t that she felt she owed him an explanation, of course she would have been in her right, just as he would have been – they were separated. But she wanted him to know. She wanted him to understand that she hadn’t moved on. Mulder lowered his head back to her chest and held it there.

“I’m not sure I could do this with anyone else but you. I’m not sure I’d know how. It wouldn’t feel… right.”

“I know what you mean.” She did. It’s what had happened with the kiss after her date. It had been a good date and it had been a good kiss but it had felt wrong. Not morally wrong, naturally wrong. It had felt unnatural. She hadn’t been kissed by anyone that wasn’t Mulder in almost twenty years and that kiss had taught her she didn’t want to be kissed by anyone that wasn’t Mulder for the next twenty years either.

Scully titled his chin up so she could him kiss again and his tongue slid back into her mouth naturally as if it had never been interrupted. She started to rub herself up and down his length again until his breathing was utterly ragged against her. Mulder reached a hand down between them to brush open her seam and then pushed a single finger up into her. She arched her back and called out.

“Fuck Mulder!”

She wasn’t sure their previous conversation had been necessary – they were both acting exactly as if they hadn’t been touched in years. And although he must have surely felt how desperately ready she was he still had the nerve to say:

“Do you want me to..?”

“If you suggest anything other than fucking me right now I might kill you.” She told him hoarsely. He laughed and then removed his hand from her and brought it to himself, rubbing himself a couple of times to let her natural wetness coat him. He held himself against her, lining them up. She gripped his shoulders in readiness.

“Like this?” Mulder asked, almost as an afterthought as he was already beginning to nudge into her. For a moment she couldn’t process what he meant.

“Oh… no…” He stopped moving at once and withdrew from her. Or withdrew as much as he could with her sitting in his lap. “Can you get on top again..?” She didn’t really know why she’d said it, only that she wanted to be completely surrounded by him until it was only him filling all of her senses. A proper reunion.

“Yeah, sure, yeah.” He agreed easily. She thought he would have agreed to pretty much anything in that moment but it wasn’t about power. Neither of their need was greater than the other.

She climbed off of his lap and laid back against the pillows. Mulder grabbed one of the pillows from his side of the bed and placed it under her hips before he climbed over her once more, kissing her soundly as he did. He leant back to take himself in his hand again. He looked down at her and nodded, silently asking for permission, she nodded back. He pushed into her slowly. Scully cried out again, she couldn’t help it, it was so overwhelming. She felt herself gripping him tightly, too tightly and she took a big breath, willing her muscles to relax. And then suddenly the resistance was all but gone and he slipped into her inch by inch until he was entirely sheathed within her.

“Okay?” He asked, his voice sounding shaky. He looked shaky too. As if he couldn’t quite believe it was happening. She nodded, trying to reassure him.

“Come here.” She commanded gently. He leant forward, placing his hands either side of the pillow she was resting on. Her hands curled up around his biceps. “Come here.” She said again until his face was over hers. She kissed him and he responded instantly. “You feel so good.” She murmured against his lips. His hips were still locked to hers, not moving, savouring their homecoming. Scully moved her hands to rest above her head and opened her palms. “Can you put your hands in mine?”

“I’ll squash you.”

“No you won’t.” He would. Of course he would if he wasn’t supporting his own weight. But she wanted to be squashed by him, to have absolutely no space between them, as if they were one body – complete only when they were joined.

Mulder looked a little unsure but he obliged her. With extreme care he lifted one hand at a time from the bed and placed it in hers, interlocking their fingers. His whole upper body pressed down slowly into hers until he was pressing her heavily into the mattress. The control of the movement was an impressive show of core strength and it excited her. Scully hooked her legs over the back of his thighs, pressing him even further into her. She could feel his skin on hers everywhere. Each breath pushed her chest further into his, the hair on his upper body tickling her skin and brushing across her nipples. It felt indescribably divine. She bit her lip and whimpered at the sheer force of him. She could cum, she realised. She could cum right there without him having moved an inch within her. Colour rose to her cheeks.

“Am I hurting you?” Mulder panted. His voice was thick and she could see the intimacy of the position was effecting him too. There was a visible effort for him to maintain his self-control.

“No, no, not at all.” She reassured him. “You can move.”

He started moving at once though his thrusts were slow and shallow. The angle and the fact that he didn’t have much to get a purchase on meant it was impossible for him to thrust too deeply or forcefully. But she knew neither of them needed him to. They were both already so worked up to begin with it wouldn’t take much to push them over the edge. And it wasn’t about that. It was about being as close to each other as they possibly could be.

“Can you kiss me? And don’t stop. Don’t stop kissing me.” He smiled and kissed her. Again and again and again he kissed her as they slowly rutted against each other. They both hummed and sighed into each other’s mouths as their movements began to become a little more frantic. Mulder’s grip on her hands tightened as he squeezed her fingers.

“Ahhh…” He called out, his eyebrows drawn low over his eyes. His tell was still the same, this meant he was getting close. “Scul… god… are you..?” He seemed unable to finish any thought.

“Touch me, please… touch me…”

It was a ridiculous statement considering there wasn’t an inch of her body he wasn’t touching. But he understood her at once. One of his hands left hers and forced its way between their tightly packed bodies. It was awkward but he was determined and after a couple of misses he found the bundle of nerves between her legs and began rubbing her with furious intent. His hips seemed to take their lead from his hand and sped up considerably. It was her time to cry out.

“Ah yeah… just like that… don’t stop, don’t stop…” She encouraged him mindlessly, the words coming out of her with no conscience thought.

Mulder closed his eyes as if her words were too much. The last nail in the coffin of his self-control. And then he opened his eyes and kissed her again and she was gone. She hurtled over the edge, calling out his name and reaching blindly for his face with her free hand. White light was bursting in front of her eyes as if she might pass out as her orgasm carried on against his desperate movements. It had never felt like this with anybody else. As she came down she was aware of the straining muscles in his face beneath her fingertips. She stroked her fingers clumsily across his brow hoping he understood she was telling him to let go. And he did. She felt him go completely rigid before spilling himself over and over into her. He shook with the effort of it, muttering her name repeatedly, as incoherent as she had been.

He seemed to collapse entirely into her then. Both of them were breathing heavily, panting into the sticky air around them. With an apparent great deal of effort Mulder rolled off of her and although it had begun to become uncomfortable with him lying on her she found that she missed him. Scully turned her head to look at him. He was staring straight up at the ceiling, looking a little shell-shocked. She smiled. He looked exactly as she felt. After a few moments he turned to look at her and returned her smile.

“Hang on.” He told her as he slowly raised himself off of the bed and went over to the dresser. He came back with a clean towel and he placed it under her hips, exchanging it for the pillow he’d put there earlier. He then took a smaller towel and wiped gently between her thighs, finishing the job with a kiss to each knee.

“Hmm… thank you.” She hummed in soft contentment as she watched him. He leant over and kissed her just as they heard movement from across the hall as Will left his room and walked down to the bathroom. Crap. There was her chance of sneaking out unnoticed gone. 

“Want me to hide you?” Mulder teased.

“I don’t think we can hid the fact my car is parked out front.”

“Ah.”

“It’s okay. It’s two against one – how bad could it be?” She asked doubtfully.

“Certainly worse if he finds us like this.” Mulder replied, purposefully looking down at her naked body. He climbed off of the bed and stepped straight into a pair of sweatpants without bothering with underwear. He tossed her his shirt that she’d slept in.

“Thanks.” She sat up and pulled the t-shirt over her head. She found him staring rather longingly at her still exposed body as she rolled the shirt down. “What?”

“Nothing… just taking one last look.”

The words may have sounded melancholic if it weren’t for the look in his eye. The look that said he was remembering every single detail of what they had just done. And he would be able to with his damn near eidetic memory. She was actually quite jealous. She raised her eyebrows at him but he only smiled and pulled a shirt over his own head.

“Play your cards right and it won’t be the last.” Despite what had just happened the blatant flirting still felt bold. His smile only grew.

“Okay I’ll lure our offspring downstairs with breakfast so you can shower.”

Yes shower. She needed to shower and get dressed and go to work. She tried to remember how many surgeries she had booked in for the day and wondered if she’d be able to concentrate on any of them. Scully had never been more tempted to call in sick. But no, she was an adult. She needed to be an adult and focus on her responsibilities. She also needed to persuade Mulder to drive to the hospital for her lunchbreak so they could make proper use of one of the staff sleeping quarters. She felt her cheeks reddened at her own thought process.

“Hey…” When she looked up Mulder was standing in front of her. “I’m really glad you came over last night.” He told her seriously.

“Me too.” He gave her one last dazzlingly smile and one last kiss before he left the room. 


End file.
